You Only Live Twice
| State of Body | A secret agent who while not even close to death, or even a fatal wounding, does have a very slight tell-tale whiff of silliness to come. |
|---|---|
| Detail of Inspection | Inspected many times. |
| Forensic Investigator | winstoninabox |
| Comments | Subject, despite minor flaws, will remain a classic Bond corpse. |
I’d not intended to FF another Bond film so soon after GoldenEye, but recently I was reading on a Bond website a bit of a debate about the merits and flaws of You Only Live Twice. So I thought that since I’d had an absence of about 5 years from it, I’d revisit the film myself. What I found was that it is indeed one of the classic Bond films. After all, as one defender on the website proclaimed it’s “the one with the volcano.” But not only does it have this gargantuan masterpiece of set design, it has a tongue in cheek script that I only wish the recent films could emulate, and also a genuine travelogue feel to it that has also been lost in the more recent films. These days Bond rushes headlong into explosion after explosion while traveling from continent to continent all the while tossing off innuendoes without the chance for the audience to get a feel for the location. But You Only Live Twice has a more relaxed pace, and after four films Connery owns the role and plays it with a casual assurance that adds to the fun. He knows the audience knows that Bond will win the day, but comes up shy of breaking the forth wall and winking back. So while You Only Live Twice is a bit of a romp, it also maintains tension and action when it has to.
That said the story could use some work. SPECTRE, in cahoots with an unnamed Asian government (China, anyone? China?) is kidnapping American astronauts and Soviet cosmonauts. The plan is to provoke war between the two superpowers. I’ve no idea why SPECTRE went to the trouble of constructing a spacecraft that can engulf a whole lunar orbiter, and then return to earth on solid ground. One would think it requires technology in advance of what America and the USSR already had.
And it is a flaw that I believe gives license for much of the silliness that has maligned the Bond films credibility as cinema for more serious viewers. Before this Bond films had asked the audience to suspend disbelief, but had never really abused the audience’s trust when doing so. In fact the four previous films had relied on strong and varied plots, keeping the sci-fi to either Bond’s gee whiz gadgets, or when bigger such as Dr. No’s base, they had verisimilitude. But SPECTRE’s spaceship goes into the realms of bad sci-fi, and it is a step that I think the series never recovers from. It opens the door to such silliness as the mid-air theft of a shuttle in Moonraker, or the utter nonsense of the invisible car from Die Another Day.
SPECTRE’s spaceship needs to be able to land so that the British can obtain the approximate whereabouts of its base, and thus send Bond there to get the film going. But this could just as easily be done by having the approximate launch whereabouts of a missile that shoots down the American’s spaceship at the start. So let’s change the killer spaceship into a killer missile.
Everyone knows Bond is shagarific, but there are too many Bond girls in this picture. I’m not being prudish, it’s just that with 3 major female characters (plus Ling, the Chinese shag from the pre-title sequence) there’s not enough time for each girl. Kissy Suzuki is the real loser. She’s introduced in only the last 3rd of the film, and is expected to take the reins as the major female character. This task is made doubly impossible because Aki, the Bond girl to this point, has a much more interesting character plus the audience’s sympathy from her cruel death. It would be better to amalgamate the two Japanese female characters – let’s give her the name of Kissy Suzuki with the personality of Aki. As for which actress should play her? Well that I’ll leave up to the reader’s personal taste, but in my opinion either one is a winner.
The original Aki was great because she was the first Bond girl who was also in the spy game. Unlike Tatiana Romanova of From Russia with Love who was recruited only for that mission, Aki was a trained spy with the resources of the Japanese Secret Service behind her. And what a great addition she was, because she had the ability to aid Bond, but unlike the modern variations of spy Bond girls (especially Wai Lin and Jinx), she doesn’t overshadow Bond. As Aki + Kissy she can be spy girl for the 1st two-thirds of the film, and then for the last 3rd she can be Bond’s fake wife. The script could even acknowledge the temporariness of their marriage, and thus foreshadow the tragedy of Bond’s real marriage in the next film.
So now that Aki, I mean Kissy, is around for the whole movie, let’s give her a little more to do. Bond visits Osato Chemicals twice, and both times Aki saves him with some quick driving in the Osato Chemical’s car park. The 2nd time has a whiff of sameness about it, but the problem is that both Bond and Kissy must be in the car for the chase. So let’s alter the setup a little. When Bond visits Osato for the business meeting, Kissy comes with him as his secretary. This will give a nice foursome for the interview, as Osato’s secretary, the evil and libidos Helga Brandt is, as in the original, also in attendance. In the original film Aki stated distaste for Helga, yet the girls never got to meet face to face. So this meeting could be the opportunity to let the sparks fly between the two Bond girls in a war of words. Then when Bond and Kissy leave, the drive by shooting need not begin in the car park, but rather somewhere on the highway, for now Bond and Kissy are already together in the car.
There’s really a lot to like in You Only Live Twice. I was certainly glad to view it again after such a long time away. And viewing it as an FF was doubly enjoyable. If you’ve any interest in Bond films, then give it another look. It’s the last time you’ll see Sean Connery in a truly great Bond. And after all, it’s “the one with the volcano”.