Archive for the 'shellshear' Category
Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
Posted in Horror, M, Slash'n'dash, shellshear | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008
A few thoughts on why I should definitely not be put in charge of this kind of material…
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Posted in Drama, N, Slash'n'dash, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Monday, May 21st, 2007
| State of body |
Oooooooh, where to start. Um, dead? Yeah. Very dead. Strange puncture wounds. Mysterious. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
So much potential! Well, I thought so anyway. A classic example of a movie playing it far too safe; of failing to properly explore the premise. |
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Posted in Action, Forensic Analysis, Horror, S, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, July 26th, 2006
| State of body |
Um, well. Where to begin? Elaborately tortured, of course, but oddly, cause of death was old age. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
People aren’t exactly looking for watertight plots in a horror film, but in this case, more attention to the scenario might have made a more interesting film. |
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Posted in Forensic Analysis, H, Horror, shellshear | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
| State of body |
Utterly pristine. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected six times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
The body appears to have been desecrated by person or persons unknown. Well, OK, maybe not unknown. It was me. The autopsy was presumptuous & pointless. But fun. |
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Posted in Drama, Forensic Analysis, P, shellshear | 8 Comments »
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
| State of body |
A little malnourished, occasionally beaten, but mostly healthy. Killed by a couple of ticks and an infestation of nits. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Competently done, until the usual mess at the finale. Why do action movies so often fall apart at the end? |
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Posted in Action, Forensic Analysis, U, shellshear | 1 Comment »
Monday, January 16th, 2006
Well, I finally knocked off the “War of the Worlds” dissection, and yup, that’s one ugly alien (though not, perhaps, as ugly as it should have been). I’m not enormously happy with my analysis, so if you disagree with me or have better ideas of why you thought the film worked or didn’t work, why not post a reply?
Coming up in the next weeks: Dr. Winston analyses “The Terminal” and “Goldeneye”, guest Forensic Analyst Dr. Keith Kelly takes the Doctor Who serial “Arc of Infinity” for a spin, and I determine whether “Unleashed” has been a bad boy. As usual, if you have any suggestions or criticisms, feel free to email me or leave a comment on this post. Thanks for coming.
Posted in General, shellshear | No Comments »
Monday, January 16th, 2006
| State of body |
Simple, small, greyish, and conical. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
A small-scale slice-of-life family drama was an interesting and nicely daring choice for an alien invasion film, but it falls perilously close to being “a bunch of stuff that happened”. |
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Posted in Forensic Analysis, Science Fiction, W, shellshear | 12 Comments »
Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
| State of body |
Exquisitely preserved, apart from the fact that all the water in it had been instantaneously turned into steam. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
A tragic pity that the body ended up on the slab. It nearly escaped injury altogether, except for one fatal miscalculation regarding a microwave steam gun. |
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Posted in B, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, shellshear | 7 Comments »
Monday, December 12th, 2005
| State of body |
Unseen. |
| Detail of inspection |
Never inspected. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
I didn’t dare to view the body. Instead, in a radical and unethical departure from the usual procedure, I have reconstructed it from my vague memories of the first film. |
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Posted in Comedy, Forensic Analysis, M, shellshear | No Comments »
Sunday, November 27th, 2005
| State of body |
Multiple organ failure. Apparent efforts had been made to surgically replace organs, which were rejected by the host. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
A Hollywood film about cloning. The irony will only be exceeded when they do the remake. |
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Posted in Action, Forensic Analysis, I, Science Fiction, shellshear | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
| State of body |
Both bodies had multiple gunshot wounds - none to vital organs, but enough to have caused blood loss and death. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
As with many of the subjects here, wounds appeared self-inflicted. |
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Posted in Action, Forensic Analysis, M, shellshear | 3 Comments »
Monday, August 8th, 2005
| State of body |
Subject ripped to shreds by wild mob. Curiously, exhibited no signs of fear whatsoever. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Should have concentrated less on looking cool and more on building tension. |
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Posted in Forensic Analysis, Horror, L, Zombies, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
| State of body |
Killed by a bizarre mutation - partly normal, and partly something very, very strange. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected five times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Seems to be a normal comic-book movie that has been partially attacked by another Film Forensics reviewer who wanted to turn it into something infinitely stranger. More power to them. |
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Posted in Action, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, H, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Friday, May 6th, 2005
| State of body |
Appeared to be gently suffocated with a wet towel. No, I am not going to say “Mostly Harmless”. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
After an enormous surge of relief that it did not embarass us, we were slightly disappointed to note that it was, nonetheless, dead. |
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Posted in Comedy, Forensic Analysis, H, Science Fiction, shellshear | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
| State of body |
A pathetic shrivelled husk, drained of vital fluids. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Mediocre in every respect - given the wealth of existing material to draw on, it is bizarre they could have come up with something so bland. An ideal FF candidate. |
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Posted in Action, C, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
| State of body |
Badly burned, yet strangely… delicious. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Bubba is a competent Mummy, but is not fulfilling his promise. Needs to try harder, and not crib so much from his older brother’s book. |
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Posted in B, Comedy, Forensic Analysis, Horror, shellshear | No Comments »
Sunday, February 13th, 2005
| State of body |
Dead. Just generically dead. No particular cause of death, just the usual, you know, stuff. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Could barely have been more generic. |
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Posted in A, Action, Forensic Analysis, Horror, Science Fiction, shellshear | 2 Comments »