Archive for the 'Forensic Analysis' Category
Sunday, April 30th, 2006
| State of Body |
A secret agent who while not even close to death, or even a fatal wounding, does have a very slight tell-tale whiff of silliness to come. |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected many times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
Subject, despite minor flaws, will remain a classic Bond corpse. |
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Posted in Action, Bond, Forensic Analysis, Y, winston | No Comments »
Monday, March 13th, 2006
| State of Body |
Looks a little more decrepit with each inspection. |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected numerous times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
Bond was back! But not on screen long enough. |
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Posted in Action, Bond, Forensic Analysis, G, winston | 2 Comments »
Thursday, February 23rd, 2006
| State of body |
A little malnourished, occasionally beaten, but mostly healthy. Killed by a couple of ticks and an infestation of nits. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Competently done, until the usual mess at the finale. Why do action movies so often fall apart at the end? |
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Posted in Action, Forensic Analysis, U, shellshear | 1 Comment »
Monday, February 6th, 2006
| State of Body |
Just a few minor blemishes on an otherwise adequetely preserved corpse |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
In its current state this body, while not on the nose, isn’t going to be a subject that garners much excitement. |
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Posted in Drama, Forensic Analysis, T, winston | No Comments »
Sunday, January 29th, 2006
| State of body |
Frankensteinian. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected repeatedly at long intervals. |
| Forensic Investigator |
Keith Kelly |
| Comments |
It seems improbable that this creature could ever have lived, but strangely the main handicaps developed after initial conception. |
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Posted in A, Doctor Who, Forensic Analysis, Keith Kelly | 3 Comments »
Monday, January 16th, 2006
| State of body |
Simple, small, greyish, and conical. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
A small-scale slice-of-life family drama was an interesting and nicely daring choice for an alien invasion film, but it falls perilously close to being “a bunch of stuff that happened”. |
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Posted in Forensic Analysis, Science Fiction, W, shellshear | 12 Comments »
Sunday, January 15th, 2006
| State of Body |
Punished (Sorry, I couldn’t resist) |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected 3 times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
This body was unable to survive the multiple cuts of budget and length. |
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Posted in Action, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, P, winston | No Comments »
Monday, January 2nd, 2006
| State of Body |
Not as bad as you’d expect, not as good as could be expected. |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
Why, oh why, wasn’t Joss Whedon asked to do a script edit? |
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Posted in Forensic Analysis, Science Fiction, T, winston | No Comments »
Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
| State of body |
Exquisitely preserved, apart from the fact that all the water in it had been instantaneously turned into steam. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
A tragic pity that the body ended up on the slab. It nearly escaped injury altogether, except for one fatal miscalculation regarding a microwave steam gun. |
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Posted in B, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, shellshear | 10 Comments »
Monday, December 19th, 2005
| State of Body |
Not so fresh, but not completely stale. |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
Could have had Hitchcock confusion, but instead ends up just a little Woozy. |
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Posted in Forensic Analysis, P, Science Fiction, Thriller, winston | No Comments »
Monday, December 12th, 2005
| State of body |
Unseen. |
| Detail of inspection |
Never inspected. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
I didn’t dare to view the body. Instead, in a radical and unethical departure from the usual procedure, I have reconstructed it from my vague memories of the first film. |
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Posted in Comedy, Forensic Analysis, M, shellshear | No Comments »
Sunday, November 27th, 2005
| State of body |
Multiple organ failure. Apparent efforts had been made to surgically replace organs, which were rejected by the host. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
A Hollywood film about cloning. The irony will only be exceeded when they do the remake. |
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Posted in Action, Forensic Analysis, I, Science Fiction, shellshear | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
| State of body |
Both bodies had multiple gunshot wounds - none to vital organs, but enough to have caused blood loss and death. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
As with many of the subjects here, wounds appeared self-inflicted. |
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Posted in Action, Forensic Analysis, M, shellshear | 3 Comments »
Monday, August 8th, 2005
| State of body |
Subject ripped to shreds by wild mob. Curiously, exhibited no signs of fear whatsoever. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Should have concentrated less on looking cool and more on building tension. |
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Posted in Forensic Analysis, Horror, L, Zombies, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
| State of body |
Killed by a bizarre mutation - partly normal, and partly something very, very strange. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected five times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Seems to be a normal comic-book movie that has been partially attacked by another Film Forensics reviewer who wanted to turn it into something infinitely stranger. More power to them. |
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Posted in Action, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, H, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Friday, May 6th, 2005
| State of body |
Appeared to be gently suffocated with a wet towel. No, I am not going to say “Mostly Harmless”. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
After an enormous surge of relief that it did not embarass us, we were slightly disappointed to note that it was, nonetheless, dead. |
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Posted in Comedy, Forensic Analysis, H, Science Fiction, shellshear | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
| State of Body |
Secret agent assassinated by supporting cast. |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected six times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
As Moneypenny said, “Close, but no cigar.” |
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Posted in Action, Bond, Forensic Analysis, W, winston | No Comments »
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
| State of body |
A pathetic shrivelled husk, drained of vital fluids. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Mediocre in every respect - given the wealth of existing material to draw on, it is bizarre they could have come up with something so bland. An ideal FF candidate. |
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Posted in Action, C, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 14th, 2005
| State of body |
Father is dead, but child is still alive and kicking. |
| Detail of inspection |
The kids put it on autorepeat for days at a time! |
| Forensic Investigator |
marco |
| Comments |
Child appeared dead, but had just gone away for a little hakuna matata. |
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Posted in Comedy, Forensic Analysis, L, marco | 17 Comments »