Archive for the 'Forensic Analysis' Category
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
| State of body |
Killed by a bizarre mutation – partly normal, and partly something very, very strange. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected five times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Seems to be a normal comic-book movie that has been partially attacked by another Film Forensics reviewer who wanted to turn it into something infinitely stranger. More power to them. |
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Posted in Action, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, H, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Friday, May 6th, 2005
| State of body |
Appeared to be gently suffocated with a wet towel. No, I am not going to say “Mostly Harmless”. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
After an enormous surge of relief that it did not embarass us, we were slightly disappointed to note that it was, nonetheless, dead. |
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Posted in Comedy, Forensic Analysis, H, Science Fiction, shellshear | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
| State of Body |
Secret agent assassinated by supporting cast. |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected six times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
As Moneypenny said, “Close, but no cigar.” |
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Posted in Action, Bond, Forensic Analysis, W, winston | No Comments »
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
| State of body |
A pathetic shrivelled husk, drained of vital fluids. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Mediocre in every respect – given the wealth of existing material to draw on, it is bizarre they could have come up with something so bland. An ideal FF candidate. |
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Posted in Action, C, Comic Book, Forensic Analysis, shellshear | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 14th, 2005
| State of body |
Father is dead, but child is still alive and kicking. |
| Detail of inspection |
The kids put it on autorepeat for days at a time! |
| Forensic Investigator |
marco |
| Comments |
Child appeared dead, but had just gone away for a little hakuna matata. |
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Posted in Comedy, Forensic Analysis, L, marco | 17 Comments »
Monday, March 14th, 2005
| State of Body |
Shows signs of over-reimagination. |
| Detail of Inspection |
Inspected three times. |
| Forensic Investigator |
winstoninabox |
| Comments |
A worthy entry as a pilot, but no ace. |
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Posted in B, Forensic Analysis, Science Fiction, winston | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
| State of body |
Badly burned, yet strangely… delicious. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected twice. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Bubba is a competent Mummy, but is not fulfilling his promise. Needs to try harder, and not crib so much from his older brother’s book. |
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Posted in B, Comedy, Forensic Analysis, Horror, shellshear | No Comments »
Sunday, February 13th, 2005
| State of body |
Dead. Just generically dead. No particular cause of death, just the usual, you know, stuff. |
| Detail of inspection |
Inspected once. |
| Forensic Investigator |
shellshear |
| Comments |
Could barely have been more generic. |
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Posted in A, Action, Forensic Analysis, Horror, Science Fiction, shellshear | 2 Comments »