Archive for the 'Science Fiction' Category

I Am Legend

Monday, August 4th, 2008

Alternate thoughts on the ending.

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I Am Legend

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

Some thoughts on the ending.

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Highlander 2

Monday, August 14th, 2006

State of body No, we’re not going to do the obvious joke, okay? It hasn’t had its head cut off. Just its brain.
Detail of inspection Inspected twice.
Forensic Investigator Jon
Comments There’s been serious reconstructive work to put its body parts back where they belong, but they still don’t quite fit.

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War of the Worlds

Monday, January 16th, 2006
State of body Simple, small, greyish, and conical.
Detail of inspection Inspected once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments A small-scale slice-of-life family drama was an interesting and nicely daring choice for an alien invasion film, but it falls perilously close to being “a bunch of stuff that happened”.

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Thunderbirds

Monday, January 2nd, 2006
State of Body Not as bad as you’d expect, not as good as could be expected.
Detail of Inspection Inspected twice.
Forensic Investigator winstoninabox
Comments Why, oh why, wasn’t Joss Whedon asked to do a script edit?

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Paycheck

Monday, December 19th, 2005
State of Body Not so fresh, but not completely stale.
Detail of Inspection Inspected twice.
Forensic Investigator winstoninabox
Comments Could have had Hitchcock confusion, but instead ends up just a little Woozy.

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The Island

Sunday, November 27th, 2005
State of body Multiple organ failure. Apparent efforts had been made to surgically replace organs, which were rejected by the host.
Detail of inspection Inspected once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments A Hollywood film about cloning. The irony will only be exceeded when they do the remake.

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The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Friday, May 6th, 2005
State of body Appeared to be gently suffocated with a wet towel. No, I am not going to say “Mostly Harmless”.
Detail of inspection Inspected once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments After an enormous surge of relief that it did not embarass us, we were slightly disappointed to note that it was, nonetheless, dead.

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Battlestar Galactica Mini-Series

Monday, March 14th, 2005
State of Body Shows signs of over-reimagination.
Detail of Inspection Inspected three times.
Forensic Investigator winstoninabox
Comments A worthy entry as a pilot, but no ace.

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Alien Vs. Predator

Sunday, February 13th, 2005
State of body Dead. Just generically dead. No particular cause of death, just the usual, you know, stuff.
Detail of inspection Inspected once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments Could barely have been more generic.

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Signs

Monday, October 25th, 2004
State of body Much to our surprise, what we thought was a body turned out to be a cunningly carved giant carrot.
Detail of inspection Inspected once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments Extremely perplexing why someone would have gone to such incredible effort in carefully crafting this pseudo-body, since it had decayed almost to nothing by the time we were able to examine it.

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Star Wars

Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
State of body Fresh, despite advanced age.
Detail of inspection Inspected many, many times.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments Subject had all of us here at Film Forensics a little awed, but went out of its way to put us at our ease. Was only, after all, human.

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I, Robot

Thursday, August 19th, 2004
State of body Recently in a fight, but wounds only superficial. Death due to head injuries sustained in fall.
Detail of inspection Inspected once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments Tried to cushion the blow by landing on a big pile of books. Missed them.

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Equilibrium

Thursday, August 12th, 2004
State of body Peaceful, though with signs of recent struggle. Fair condition.
Detail of inspection Inspected once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments Potentially challenging, but in the end, a straightforward case. Not nearly as novel as the setup might have suggested.

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Matrix Sequels

Thursday, August 5th, 2004
State of body Bloated, decomposing
Detail of inspection Seen Reloaded twice, Revolutions once.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments Major reconstruction required for open-casket funeral. Suggestions enclosed.

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28 Days Later…

Monday, July 26th, 2004
State of body Oddly, appears to have been stung by a weird Triffid varient.
Detail of inspection Inspected twice.
Forensic Investigator shellshear
Comments Seemed on the verge of complete recovery until last minute, when subject sunk into a genre cliche and was unable to escape.

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